i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Randomize
