HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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