K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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