My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Life without a bra equals bliss.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
