I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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