Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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