idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he fucked my hip out of place.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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