I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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