don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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