if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
