Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
