I got her a Nickelback box set.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
