Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
