we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
