It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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