pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
