Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
