I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
