It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
