We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
