There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize