so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
