I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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