I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
