did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
