i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
