No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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