I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
