You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize