Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The struggles of a small town man whore
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
