"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
