I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
