ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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