Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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