I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
