im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i now understand why vodka
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
