Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
