he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
