I accidentally burped into my bong.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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