First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
