ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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