dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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