the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
