dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
