4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
