another moral hangover. fuck.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
