What did we do last night that was yellow?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
