operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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