Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize