wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize