it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
