No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
