My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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