hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
