my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The beer is more important than you right now.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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