Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
