is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
