She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
