I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
