Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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