We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
